Tuesday, March 08, 2011

alone....for once

I wish I could figure out how to upload photos from my phone using this blogger/Droid app. Maybe if I wasn't so cheap and broke down and purchased an application I would get one I could use...though if I paid money for and and still couldn't upload then I might more frustrated yet. But, on a day like today it will take more than a silly electronic devise to to rock my boat. For sure, as I am home ALONE! I know you may be tempted to think I'm dreaming or hallucinating, or dreaming, or that I finally drifted over the edge. But nope, its true. Drew is at a political meeting (I love saying that). Jer is at a 4H meeting and my wonderful, adorable, mildly manic grandsons are at Amma's house, for the night. Until tomorrow. Night.
And me, I'm doing nothing, absolutely nothing. No TV. No book. Just me and my favorite chair. Only sounds are a clock ticking and an occasional scratching moaning noise from one of the dogs....wait that may be the refrigerator running, should I go catch it? Haha, I crack myself up. Ahhhh, myself, just me. Yep, all alone.
Lord you are so kind. Please bless Bev extra tonight and tomorrow ....
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Friday, February 25, 2011

could write pages n pages....

I can't help but wonder how a man who went Home almost 100 years ago can speak daily, directly into my feeble life. Oswald Chambers died in 1917 and still the devotional compiled by his wife after his death continue to pierce my soul with the biting truths of Word.

Today's reading points to the Apostle Paul's self sacrificing service to the lost and to the found that they might know Christ. The Destitution of Service

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Happy Birthday Jeremiah


So much I could say about how proud I am of the man you are becoming. I can see God moving in your life. Continue to see His face and seek His will for your life. I am grateful every day that God placed you in our family and made it complete. And Yes, YOU will always be my baby.

more Chambers

IS YOUR HOPE IN GOD FAINT AND DYING?


"Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose imagination is stayed on Thee." Isaiah 26:3 (R. V. marg.)

Is your imagination stayed on God or is it starved? The starvation of the imagination is one of the most fruitful sources of exhaustion and sapping in a worker's life. If you have never used your imagination to put yourself before God, begin to do it now. It is no use waiting for God to come; you must put your imagination away from the face of idols and look unto Him and be saved. Imagination is the greatest gift God has given us and it ought to be devoted entirely to Him. If you have been bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, it will be one of the greatest assets to faith when the time of trial comes, because your faith and the Spirit of God will work together. Learn to associate ideas worthy of God with all that happens in Nature - the sunrises and the sunsets, the sun and the stars, the changing seasons, and your imagination will never be at the mercy of your impulses, but will always be at the service of God.

"We have sinned with our fathers; . . . and have forgotten" - then put a stiletto in the place where you have gone to sleep. "God is not talking to me just now," but He ought to be. Remember Whose you are and Whom you serve. Provoke yourself by recollection, and your affection for God will increase tenfold; your imagination will not be starved any longer, but will be quick and enthusiastic, and your hope will be inexpressibly bright.


Lord Jesus, show me how to do this. Help me remember.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Oswald and me

And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly." 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

When we pray to be sanctified, are we prepared to face the standard of these verses? We take the term sanctification much too lightly. Are we prepared for what sanctification will cost? It will cost an intense narrowing of all our interests on earth, and an immense broadening of all our interests in God. Sanctification means intense concentration on God's point of view. It means every power of body, soul and spirit chained and kept for God's purpose only. Are we prepared for God to do in us all that He separated us for? And then after His work is done in us, are we prepared to separate ourselves to God even as Jesus did? "For their sakes I sanctify Myself." The reason some of us have not entered into the experience of sanctification is that we have not realized the meaning of sanctification from God's standpoint. Sanctification means being made one with Jesus so that the disposition that ruled Him will rule us. Are we prepared for what that will cost? It will cost everything that is not of God in us.

Are we prepared to be caught up into the swing of this prayer of the apostle Paul's? Are we prepared to say - "Lord, make me as holy as You can make a sinner saved by grace"? Jesus has prayed that we might be one with Him as He is one with the Father. The one and only characteristic of the Holy Ghost in a man is a strong family likeness to Jesus Christ, and freedom from everything that is unlike Him. Are we prepared to set ourselves apart for the Holy Spirit's ministrations in us?

Isn't this always the bottom line? No to our flesh, to our personal preferences, our fleshly desires; it matters not whether they are legitimate needs or godly passions...but if they are ours, and not in His plan for our lives they are made void when it comes to us responding to His personal call on our lives. We must daily submit to His plan, His call, His purpose for our today, and every day thereafter. There is no wiggling or whining out of His way. The day and the plan he sets before us should not merely be our first choice after much debate but our only choice after no debate. We can waffle around and pretend we do not know what it is He wants from us this day...but it is usually the thing He has set right in front of us, the very thing we seek refuge from. But alas, there will be no peace in our lives, not right to our upside down ways until we submit and give our total will to Him. It begins in our small daily choices to choose, kindness over apathy; to choose obedience over excuses; a willingness to be nothing when we long for recognition and appreciation. Jesus never once asked for any of those; only to serve the Father and to feed his sheep. Find the sheep God has placed in your life, and give your life to them; never looking back.

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

wasting time vs relaxing


Florida trip 2o11 day one...

Sitting in a Hampton in Stauton VA. Ate at a Red Lobster and now sitting watching TV and messing on the computer. My font is looking extra dark like its stuck in BOLD. So I do not know how it will look when published.
I do miss my babies already. But, I know I need this getaway. We considered bringing Kaleb, he did so well in Canada and is 6 months older. But, common sense won out. I guess. DA was clinging when i left saying, "don't leave Ammie, don't leave." He did run off and play then, but it still broke my heart. I had been talking to Kaleb for several weeks, trying to prepare him as he is less adaptable to new routines and situations. DA is usually just happy to be alive, rarely worries about much. I am blessed to see he is beginning to feel part of a home, our home, our family.
kaleb was doing well with the vacation he wasn't going on; he understood who was staying with him and that we would be back. Drew talked to them tonight and had pleasant conversation.

We have been making this trip for 13 years this year. Jer will be 15 a week from Sunday. I can hardly believe it. Life at our house is as intense as it was 15 year ago, well maybe not; Drew's dad had just died and Julia had skin cancer...That was rough. Now, the boys are active but growing fast, learning good things and not so good every day. But I can see God working in their lives.

My life has been difficult as of late. My mind seems like it has left for vacation months ago. I know I have been cranky, short tempered and down right nasty at times. Looking for find rest, much rest, and a way back to my saviour. Peace that has escaped me is what I seek. Rest in spirit, mind and soul will take me home a kinder gentler mom, wife and grammie.


Monday, January 10, 2011

to snow or not to snow

I am hoping for snow. Lots of snow. Snow day(s) for Jer. Snow angel play for boys. Hot soup or maybe a big pot of chili. Yep good old fashioned comfort food, a fire in the wood burner, and snuggling with my boys, big and little ones.

Grateful for my warm home and food in the fridge and pantry. Really grateful for an attached garage. Our new, not quite two years, home continues to be an amazing blessing in my life. Feeling kind of warm and fuzzy today.
*Happy anniversary Ned and Hannah. 2 years today.
*Only 12 short weeks till our newest Kimmel arrives. Hang in there Jen.
*Jer put the boys to bed all on his own; all was quiet in less than an hour.
*Jer scored a basket tonight @ his game
*ate dinner out w/drew alone
*had another one but it slipped away.
Time for sleep
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Thursday, January 06, 2011

surprises

I wonder if the disciples evera thought when they got up that ordidary morning, that they were enjoying the dawn of a day of miracles. A day to be recorded as a lesson to all of history. As the crowds gathered on the hill to see this man of mystery preach, did they grumble knowing it might be another long day in the scorching sun? Even as a boys meager lunch grew into a feast for thousands could they have imagined how many times the events of the day would be retold, demonstrating to generations the the tender care of the Creator God? how do we view a new day? Expectantly? Grudgingly? Confident in our Saviours design for or day, for our lives? Every day we draw a breath is an example to a broken world that Jesus loves the lost, and He's waiting to save and heal each hurting soul.
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another day in paradise or two tickets to paradise

Lying on the floor of the nursery; boys are asleep. Kinda a miracle it's only 8:18 pm.
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Saturday, January 01, 2011

rubber hose

Steal your heart,
Steal your nose,
Feel like you been beat with a rubber hose.
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a walk in the park

Shade trees the scent of pine
Crunching under foot

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Friday, October 22, 2010

visiting ammie (picture uploaded)


Today Jack came to my house for the first time. His Kimmel sized appetite kept him busy for the first hour or so, after which two very busy, noisy, busy boys introduced him to his calling as a Kimmel manchild. Not so sure if it was a thumbs up or thumbs down experience for him. But at the very least it was a fair and accurate introduction. A visit to the doc revealed a 12oz gain this past week to the delight of his parents and family. Still a small guy, that's Daddy's hand in the picture. So fun to see a daddy/son picture ; reminds me of how our Abba Father's hand is always present, always caring. What a sweet life we live.
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Saturday, October 16, 2010

day after

Had a grand birthday. Thank you Jeremiah. You did a great job. Good food, friends, best kids in the world. The sun is making an appearance today and warming the fall air to a perfect 60° and painting the autumn landscape with reflective golden rays. Contentment fills my soul and laughter through the trials and tribulations of the day are a sweet gift from my Gentle Father.
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Sunday, October 03, 2010

What's up Jack

We went to see jack and his parents this evening. So good to spend time with Ned and Hannah; but heartbroken for their ordeal. Jack is progressing as is expected for a preemie baby, but his being a preemie would not be our choice. For Hannah and Ned this is the first time experience. Experienced nurses and others keep saying, "to be expected for his early birth" or "normal for a preemie". Statements like these are meant to relieve or encourage but at times only amplify the anxious knot in their stomachs. For Jack's mommy and daddy normal would mean having their son at home with visiting grandmas and papaps, doting aunts and proud uncles gathered around being a nuisance . That would be normal. Monitors and worn vinyl love seats, tiny showers, and an occasional cranky nurse are not what they had expected. Monitors screaming alarms for no reason; the blinking numbers a constant reminder that all is not as well as it should be.
Other parents have endured far more serious medical conditions, but as a mom my heart breaks for my kids in this situation and my grandson in his tiny plastic crate. My prayer is for a quick ending to the hospital trial and for the crazy chaotic adventure of parenting a newborn to begin. O Lord may your healing mercy fall quickly and your comforting grace abound. Strengthen and encourage my dear ones. Keep their hearts strong and their gaze fixed on you.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

little shoes

little shoes little shoes where will you go? little shoes little shoes scattered about little shoes little shoes no two that match. little shoes little shoes stuffed full of toes. little shoes little shoes where have you gone off to adventures laid out in advance. little shoes little shoes left prints on my heart.
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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

We've Got Jack


Today I have a son who is getting to know his new baby boy; caring for his wife and trusting his God for their tomorrows. Another is grieving the loss of a college friend, and wondering why the answers don't match the questions.

How life and death can walk so hand in hand is one of the great mysteries of God; and a wrestling match of emotions for this weary mom.

Sovereignty is a doctrinal certainty, this I know. But it is by faith alone, that I can begin to believe.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

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Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Yesterday's Oswald Chambers

September 14th.



IMAGINATION V. INSPIRATION


"The simplicity that is in Christ." 2 Corinthians 11:3

Simplicity is the secret of seeing things clearly. A saint does not think clearly for a long while, but a saint ought to see clearly without any difficulty. You cannot think a spiritual muddle clear, you have to obey it clear. In intellectual matters you can think things out, but in spiritual matters you will think yourself into cotton wool. If there is something upon which God has put His pressure, obey in that matter, bring your imagination into captivity to the obedience of Christ with regard to it and everything will become as clear as daylight. The reasoning capacity comes afterwards, but we never see along that line, we see like children; when we try to be wise we see nothing (Matthew 11:25).

The tiniest thing we allow in our lives that is not under the control of the Holy Spirit is quite sufficient to account for spiritual muddle, and all the thinking we like to spend on it will never make it clear. Spiritual muddle is only made plain by obedience. Immediately we obey, we discern. This is humiliating, because when we are muddled we know the reason is in the temper of our mind. When the natural power of vision is devoted to the Holy Spirit, it becomes the power of perceiving God's will and the whole life is kept in simplicity.

Saturday, September 04, 2010

Not as good as I once was....

but by the grace of God I can be BETTER than I ever was.... I have learned much of late. I can be worse than I ever was or by the grace of God continue on in the sanctification walk becoming more like Christ; saying no to the cries of the flesh and yes to self sacrifice and obedience, never mistaking the Christian life for an easy, happy, fun, lifestyle choice.

How tempting to view my sins of heart as less offensive to God than the outward and visible. Much of my life before Christ revolved around FLESH choices; laying them down and walking in purity of body and mind brought great and evident change into my life. And even today old desires, and some new ones sneak into my heart and and tap at the door of my soul seeking to gain entrance into my heart and daily walk. Mostly they are bold and brassy and catch my attention before they arrive at the gate.
Oh but the sins of the heart...those sneaky, evil, worms of self-righteousness, self pity, LAZINESS, complaining, ingratitude, impatience, prides judgmental attitude, self, self, self. How they do flourish blossom and bloom, large and vibrant, without my notice or care.
Today as every day I must choose by and through the grace of my Jesus to lay down ME and rise up in and for HIM. Please Lord Jesus let me not take what you have given me to heart or self but pour it out on You and Yours.

After reading Sept 3 from My Upmost for His Highest
2 Samue23; l6 Nevertheless, he would not drink thereof but poured it out unto the Lord