no words

I cannot figure out why the words I need to spill out will not come to my mind or fingertips. So much emotion boiling bottled up within. A thrashing heart that cannot find the peace it needs, that seeks its savior, needs the Spirit, to reveal the grace, that begs for mercy, to relieve the pain of this world's wars.

Days Gone By

"Those were the days my friend, we thought they'd never end"
Simpler kinder days, when the future lay ahead, and not dangling behind as a long ago memory. Sullen thoughts for a girl redeemed by the Blood of a loving Savior. Musings tainted with self; self  pity, self centeredness, just plain old selfishness. Yuck! Not who I want to be, not who I thought I had worked hard to become. Jesus has rescued me from my own self, and praise God for that.. It is good that I see I am not who I think I am, at least not completely, still need sanctifying. I plead with my God to be always reminding me that all that I am is by His grace alone. All my treasures but trash before a Holy God.

Now, as far as the photos above, that was a bitter sweet day. I love my boy. I love that horse. We all looked pretty darn good that day. And tomorrow will bloom bright and new, regardless of my fickle heart. My thoughts are rambling like the tremble deep in my spirit that begs for a touch, a brushing, a passing nudge from Jesus, a reminder of His love for me,  in spite of my self.

Tears

Tears burst, drip, gush, and trickle; but from what from well do they spring forth? The eyes?  The heart? When we hold them in, back, keep them to ourselves, do they build up like a dam waiting for a future opportunity to overflow? Can they be stored up to be spent another day, waiting for a more opportune time to be displayed publically, or absorbed quietly into a favorite pillow?

We are grieving, or rejoicing, or lonely, or oddly pensive when the tiny droplets slip silently down a tightened jowl. Embarrassed hoping they have escaped unseen, or prayerfully seeking solace from a trusted friend, our tears beg to be accounted, collected, remembered, honored if only within our own watery soul.

Demonstrating courage, we forge ahead, confident that no weapon, no weariness, no brokenness can stand against the loving sacrifice of our Caring Savior. We are held close, protected and comforted by arms we cannot see yet always confident in their gentle strength that never lets us loose.

Any Day Now

Any Day Now

What? What? Really?

Life happens. Children grow up. Leave home. The song is about a love affair, not family relationships. Or friends. Or our health. Or our brain function. Or our agility and mobility. Yet, all of these facets of our simplistically complicated lives ebb and flow; they fluctuate. In my life anyhow, nothing stays the same from one day to the next, and hence the chorus of this tune is often weaving though my thoughts. My constantly evolving family grows everyday. Grows in number and maturity; stature and complexity. As a preschooler proudly presents his paintings and projects so I display the smeary out of the lines canvas of my life and family. Far from perfect but lovely beyond compare; I know the heavenly Father's loving fingers will with gentle brush strokes fill in the blanks and smooth the misshapen until that final day when the picture complete will hang in Glory.

of life and love and loyalty

Seems like a lot of thoughts to take on in one blog entry. Why I choose a title and them try and write inspired is beyond me, especially this morning when honestly I should be making breakfast, or rousting Jeremiah, or running to the barn myself to throw some hay at the hungry horses. But the house is uncharacteristically quiet and my fingers and heart were drawn to the page.

In a nutshell, in case I get, when I get sucked away:

•    Life is fragile; eternity is one breath away for all of us
•    Love unconditionally, even those you do not really care for. If God has placed them in your  life; they are yours to love without question or excuse.
•    Loyalty, to our dearest is without a question absolute. Keep confidences, bear offences without wavering in affection. Even when we have no reason to remain, never leave their side.

Sometimes,

• life is often really hard . God is good. Always
• Love can hurt and cut like a long hot knife. God will provide the healing balm of his suffering to ease yours
•  Loyalty can take many forms, including distance. Be sure it is affirmed and confirmed.  Never allow the folks in your life to doubt yours even when space is required to keep love alive.

God will always provide a way. Seek it with your whole heart.