Prayer
I have not written a word for what seems like a very long time. Bleary days of foggy brain have kept my mind distracted and my fingers still. Several times I have sat down and tried. Tried to write from my heart some words that would bring release. Bound by my own oppression, afraid to reach into the deeper parts of my heart. My soul. I allowed that blackness to silence the wailing within.
The evil enemy whispering doubt. Fear. Worthlessness. Shame. Rage. Stifled by guilt and hidden even from the eyes of my own heart; seeping here and there in words, attitudes, anger. Circumstances pressing hard.
And yet, there is always Hope, Hope unseen. Present in the black. The smallest cries, murmurers will be heard by Jesus. Barely more than a moan. He hears a prayer. He is present. I know. Hope peeks out from the mire and utters its Love.
I know.
I will grow stronger. He will lift me from the mire. Courage will rise up. And each day will be a bit better.
