Right now at this moment I’m savoring the amazing gift the Lord has given me. Sitting relaxing in one of my favorite places. My heart @nd mind had drifted away from my confidence and true living faith in out gear Jesus. Life. Depression. Anxiety. Family strife. All had taken their toll on my emotional and physical health are headed on a bad place.
God was far away. My prayers empty Whispered to empty dark air. Plugging away I expected things would get better. You know....by a faith I do not possess.
After a particularly difficult week; I was hopeless. Curled n the fetal position hugging a pillow hopeless. Still, I stood up. Showered. Went to church. Alone. As it has become that lately. Something I had been considering all week presses harsh into my heart. I needed a sabbatical. Alone time. To concentrate on the Lord. Pray. Rest. Relax. Seek His face.
Sitting as Joe spoke inspiring words to many I’m sure, i opened my phone searched flights from a nearby airport. I could fly out today, well. yesterday now. I made the reservation right there. Not knowing if I had a place to stay. Savoring the notion I could be someplace warm by evening. And alone. I knew I had taken a bold step of faith.
We own several places in Florida. I knew at least two we’re occupied. My husband phoned. Several times until he was able to find someone who could authorize our condo was open. Already there, are the things I cannot take on a plane.
Hurried home. Stuffed some food down my throat. Packed a quick little under the seat bag. Gave hugs and left.
Very brave. Independent, not the weak and hopeless shadow of the me I had become. Now I sit on the balcony, equipped with a plan (a friends idea) not mine. I was to jello brained to think.
Have prayed, worshipped, sought my savior. With plan and purpose I know I am already looking up. Not inside at my empty shell
Savoring. Yes savoring my savior. The warm air. sunshine. Quiet me and You God. Alone. But not alone.
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