Saturday, May 29, 2010

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Why I Love My Life

will be continued after I drain the macaroni and serve dinner

Dinner was served and enjoyed. Sort of pulled it out of my magic dinner hat. Started with turkey kielbasa and some diced onions; a little bullion, peas, mushrooms, corn, a few black beans some pasta, salsa, and some shredded cheese ended up looking like a recipe meal. Maybe I should call that hat a miracle dinner hat. Meals are a constant challenge for me; the planning ahead, remembering to make sure I have what I need, mustering the energy to do the prep work, and getting everything hot and cooked through and on the table all at the same time.

That being said, every day is a new adventure and God continues to meet me at the foot of my mountains and my molehills. Started too late to expound much more. Split the boys tonight; Bev has Kaleb at her house with Chloe and DA is snoring snuggled up under his John Deere quilt. Jer in bed; Drew snoring beside me. Peace reigns...well except for Fox News blaring on the television. I'm half afraid to turn it off...peace may end cause Drew can "watch" it while snoring...

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

If it is writing you want

meet Chloe...previous pictures posted may have been a bit more flattering and also more true to her normal disposition. Usually a happy pleasant baby, this photo was captured in one of her weaker moments. Still pretty darn cute though. She has been spending most of her days and nights with Grandma Bev. But she comes to visit her big brothers with 'Amma, and we all enjoy those afternoons and evenings.

Big brother Kaleb and DA have been living with Jer, Drew, and I since baby sister was born, where previously our baby boys split their time between Bev's and our place. When we began this adventure I don't think any of us adults ever imagined it would become a long term endeavor. We believed Allen would spend sometime in jail, realize he had messed up and become a grownup and a Dad. Unfortuanely for adults and young boys alike, such was not the case. We became grandPARENTS, and two little boys lost their daddy. Mommy too, but she was never an intricate part of their lives. And now we have Chloe. What does it all mean?

Possibly God is calling all of us to a more intimate relationship with Him so that we are better able to discern and pursue with diligence the overwhelming job He has called us to.

Saturday, May 08, 2010

I've Done Enough Dyin Today

The Gatlin Brothers; 1985ish

The words keep reeling through my mind, not sure why. Could have been the memorial service I attended today; an uncle I had not seen in years, true, his family once a huge part of my life. How easily we slip back into conversation, to relationships neglected but not defunct. Praise God for such dear ones, and how easily we can reconnect; of maybe just tap into a connection still strong but not often accessed. I end this day full to overflow with a sense of life and love and loss so powerful it aches to draw a breath. Not seeking sympathy, empathy maybe; knowing we all share in the human frailty and fragility of all we hold dear. Today, giving me reminder that outside my immediate life circle there is a broader sense of family connection given by my generous Father, to which I need hold to a little faster and remember a little oftener. Thank Sweet Jesus for a long hard day. I needed it.

Though this song reflects on a lover lost I think the words can be taken a bit deeper. Hold fast to all you hold dear and drink deep of the well of life; the bitter and the sweet and rich will be your days.

What will we do now? You tell me
The hourglass is all out of sand
How could love slip through our fingers
And leave nothin' but time on our hands?
And how will we live now? You tell me
With parts of our hearts torn away
Just existing makes dyin' look easy
But maybe tomorrowI've done enough dyin' today

And how will I sleep now? You tell me
With only my arm my by side
Perhaps I'll learn sleepin' all over
And just maybe without dreamin' this time
And who'll make you laugh now? You tell me
Since you sent your clown on his way
I don't think I'll cry, just die laughin'
But maybe tomorrow I've done enough dyin' today

And how will we live now? You tell me
With parts of our hearts torn away
Just existing makes dyin' look awful easy
But maybe tomorrow I've done enough dyin' today

Monday, May 03, 2010

Four Weeks Friday

So here she is four weeks old; plus a few days. 7lbs and oz or two. Changing quickly every day.