Fresh Five Minute Friday prompt

   Fresh

Earier today I was outside attending to my horses and chickens; oh and one lone barn cat, (who's prodding provoked me into delivering him the  inside cat's more expensive better tasting kibbles). It was then i noticed a surprising green. All else dried and crunchy, swirling, blowing, with the icy wind. I had decided to drag my frozen deck furniture closer to the house, thinking I might later tarp it. The bright green held my eyes. So out of place this time of year. Yet there it was nestled under a forgtten glass side table and a broken down wooden crate. How could all of summer be brown and dead, whilst here hidden from the elements, green plants blossomed. Not blossoming, but alive and green. 

Often around this time of year, maybe expecially this year, the outside seems lifeless. Summer so distant, its warmth forgotten. At least myself, my insides seem to shrivle and dry up. I plead for the Lord to give me fresh vison. Fresh hope. My love to come alive. To brighten my soul and affect others to see His fresh grace.

So this morning the lord provided a peek into His freshness, available to me if I look a little harder. The green was safe from the bitter winter, close up to the house, perhaps sensing the warm on the other side. Wise enough to shelter beneath a sturdy shelter.  

Plants and trees and such have been used throughout the bible to point  to a lesson God wanted us to learn. Outside my bedroom window there is life. Sheltered. Protected. Lord, may we huddle close to your warmth. Tuck ourselves into your holy spirit. Covered by your unfailing love. 

 

Tonight

No particular reason 

My heart lies heavy. 

Brimming unidentified sadness 

A yearning for calmer breath 

The dog snores nearby 

Assuring the storm is mine 

A day like all others 

It’s just a rolling pin 

But it isn’t

A memory of larger hands leading 

From the center to the edge 

Patient loving guidance 

Sure it will turn up somewhere 

Pungent ache of memories past 

Five Minuet Friday Belong

 as a preface: I misread the prompt word. I am going to share what I wrote anyway:  Using the word: belong

I asked my daughter-in-law the first thing she thought when she heard the word belong. She replied, "included." Difficult challenges these days. We are scattered about as families, friends, even the folks we are used to seeing when we run errands or go to the gym. Our routines have been interrupted or discarded altogether. I know for myself, I feel adrift and a often little lost. As one who runs on a little scattered normally, my loose routine gave me some foundation and connection with others. not so much lately.

Kids in school. Kids out of school. Virtual school. My husband and I both had Covid-19. Much of November a blur. Any sense of routine vanished. I can understand my DIL throwing out the word included. When we lose our community, our people, we become excluded from our foundation. Sadly, in other words, not included. Alone.

Our local community recently lost a young father and a devoted husband. In less than a week donations poured in. A spaghetti dinner happened. The blue collar workers in a dying coal community poured themselves into a family who had lost their rock. Their foundation. Locally we banded together, all included. All belonged. 

As Christians, we know that we belong to one another.
And as Christians, let us be aware. Let us look at one another and those around us. Look for the lost. Look for the lonely. Ones who do not feel as though they belong. Not included. 

The passage below speaks to how we belong to one another. All parts working together for each other's good. Can we extend this belonging to the broken souls around us, that as much as we are able let none be lost, alone. Belonging to each other and the community where God has placed us.

So it is Paul tells us in Romans 12:5
with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.

 

 

 

Romans 12:5 NLT

homophone Present

 I deleted half of a post for the today's word prompt; present, well yesterdays prompt i guess.

I had meditated on the different meanings of the word PRESENT. I looked them up in the dictionary, examining the history and origin of the word. I started down the path, exploring the different meanings and how each could relate to our lives, and how we live them. I ended up confusing myself.  

Present, a gift we present to another. we are present with them as we give. See, confusing right? I cannot seem to separate the meanings and write about only one. 

Maybe we are each one physiological human, made up of diverse aspects of personality, spirituality, and human frailty. Not much to do with the word present. 

Unless we work at being present in the lives of those we love. Be near. Be aware. Be listening. Walking alongside. Enjoying their presence in our lives. 

Presenting our lives as a living sacrifice to our Jesus. Purposefully making each day His. 

He has given us each gifts. Presents to use in His service and for His glory; blessing others.

Today we are present. Wherever we are we are; present in today. 

So today may we be all the present(s) God has called us to be.

Grateful: the deepest form of worship

We Americans use the season, the Thanksgiving to ponder and share our gratitude and appreciation for the blessings in our lives. We celebrate with feasts, family, and friends; toasting to our greatest gifts. Traditions passed though generations of our most loved, filling them with memories that bind.

2020 without our consent may or may not have affected our traditional traditions.

Grateful. Myself. I struggle with depression and anxiety. I have MS. Messes with my mind and short term memory. Overall weakness and fatigue. 

All to often I lose track of my place in the Kingdom.  How I am forever loved and secure in the arms of Jesus. Accepted by the Father. My room already prepared in the Better Place. 

I am grateful that He never forgets me. No matter where the darkness takes my mind or spirit, I am never lost or parted from the protection of the King. 

My place in the kingdom is secure.

Worship  

Five Minute Friday: Grief

 

Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief.  Psalm 14:13 NEV

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” ― Charles Dickens, Tale of Two Cities

 

Two quotes, one the Word of God, one from a favorite book. In my experience most of our lives grief and joy walk hand in hand, sometimes one walking in front and one in the rear. If we understand the complete word of God (as much as may be possible for us humans), side my side is the better way. 

 

I believe we will most always carry the burden of grief somewhere within. Death. Disappointment. Loss. Sickness. Family discord will leave its mark on our souls. We may experience relief and healing, but the scars of pain of will remain. 

 

In the depth of our soul the joy of the Lord carries our inner and outer selves, propelling us into the lives we've been called to live. 

Joyfully. 

Not silly, giddy happy. 

But confident despite the hard stuff of this life: HIS Joy, HIS Grace is sufficient for the day that is called today.

 

Five Minute Friday: Cancel

 Cancel

 My deep debt of sin has been canceled. Of that I am sure. Many words could be written concerning that glorious truth. I am struggling with my five minute timer. My brain struggles to process and write in the limited time. Not to mention two boys who demand my constant attention. Maybe I should have waited until I felt more inspired or did not have so much company. And, my Covid-19 positive husband is here dropping off food. 

so for now I am canceled.  

Should I begin again? Or pick up where I left off? 

Either way, I still do not have writing path or destination plan. I read through all the other writings, all polished and professional. 

Writing my name in five minuets can be a struggle. That might be a stretch.  My MS anxiety rattled brain can get a little muddy.

Cancel; I think I am going to cancel comparing myself to others. I am trusting all you beautiful writers to accept, encourage, and hopefully enjoy what i write.

I know God made me a writer. So here I am. I have been encouraged by multiple Christians and non to write. It is who must rise to my calling and not waste a precious God-given gift. 

Have a blessed week. Well, today is already Tuesday, so what is left of the week walk in His mercy, grace, and glory.

Five MInute Friday: Ahead

Many words have been written and spoken in reference to the recent presidential election. I guess I do not feel a pressing need to add or subtract to the dialoges and opinions already expressed.

I feel myself becoming wordy.  I am tempted to when I do not feel I have much to say, or that if I open my heart and share, I could spill more beans than my comfort level allows.  

I have a week ahead of me. Not an easy one. Not many are. Easy. But that is for another time. Choices need to me made on how to approach the days ahead. 

The Covid 19 game of tag landed on my doorstep this morning, having made a brief test visit in October. 

Raising two challenging grandsons, twelve and thirteen, I have been blessed to have them enrolled in a Christian school that has maintained in person teaching. Until this morning. Our school remains open; the boys will remain home. Encouraging them maintain passing grades while in school, can be difficult and tumultuous. My husband, the Covid positive family member, moved a bit grudgingly to his office apartment in town, cutting our (boys and my need to quarantine in half. Many parents and grandparents are virtual schooling children and grandchildren. I am not alone. My heart is with them. However, their trials will not make ours any easier. My personal health issues. The older on the spectrum. In utero drug and alcohol exposure.  Early life trauma, increases the excitement of the endeavor ahead. 

Choice one. Lock my sobbing panicked self in my room.. Not good for any of us. Definitely not God honoring.

Choice two. Look up to Jesus, who is not surprised by my vision of disaster. Depend on Him. Pray more. Stay connected with friends who can support me, not my personal favorite. I prefer muddling and falling in the dark alone. I mean right? I am shaking my head knowing this has not worked well for in the past.

How will the week ahead play out?  Tonight I choose option two. Knowing in advance my responses will be mixture of one and two. The battle begins.The victory will be His alone.

Five Minute Friday: Vote

 

 I have been thinking about this prompt, thinking, not writing. I’m not sure if I can resist some minor editing. But I will try.  

The year was 1976. Our nation’s bicentennial. An election. And the year I graduated from high school. The second presidential election eighteen years olds got to vote. I was more than excited. I registered. Went to my polling place ready to make my tiny dent in American society. 

An accidental president and an unknown peanut farmer. Forty some years ago my selection was my own. A bit of a contentious election; voters received their information from television and the written pages. Not near the frenzied media barrage we experience today. Facts. Figures. Images. Instantly coursing through our homes, our lives. The choice is remains simple; decide, choose, vote. 2020 has been flooded with strife, violence, division, and political vomit. (To graphic perhaps) 

Still, one thing remains from my first experience voting; to today’s manic hate fueled election; Jesus is Lord. Of our land and our election. He rules. Not only our country, but all of creation, from the  “in the beginning” until His glorious return...

No matter the results of this election, we ran be assured we are safe under His reign and rule. Let’s fix our eyes on Him. 

Disappoint

 Seems difficult to write the word “disappoint.”  Disappointing.  Disappointed. Would fit more easily into a sentence. To disappoint; indicates that I have not met the expectations of someone or a group of someones. Even now I’m struggling with the free write conception. I want to proof and correct my writing. My own fear of causing disappointment,  even to my expectations of myself haunts me. Disappoint is a strong common EMOTION in my inner being.

I depend on myself far to often to please others and myself. In Christ I can remember he never disappoints. In pursing Him my striving for perfection is me with His never failing Grace. 

Monday

  Rainy Days and Monday’s 

 

What is it about mondays? A song from the past. Deep past.  Wanders and weaves through the mind. 

Thinking back. Thinking about the now. The tomorrow.

The heart closes tightly, keeping the weeping from bursting forth. 

Sadness aches, lurking in the deepest depths. Screaming to be set free.

Recognized.

Embraced. 

Soothed. 

Healed. 

Fear. The greatest liar continues to stifle the letting go. 

Sneers. 

Mocking the bleeding scars as weakness. 

Tells the feeble heart no one cares. 

Keep it in. Protect it from judgment and critical spirits. 

Fix yourself. You’re lazy. 

Useless. Unloveable. 

Failure, go to bed. Hide. 

You’ll never get it right. 

But God says; you my child. 

Do not feed the fear. 

Look up to Me. 

I’m the comforter. 

The healer. 

I feel your pain. 

Broken. Timid. The heart resists. 

Unsure and afraid. 

Trust destroyed by man, the ears are sealed, the heart hardened. 

Hope is present 

Yet unseen.

Enough

Quite a day so it was. 

Minutes from sleep, I

Ponder the hours. Each distinct 

From another. 

Up 

down.. Fearing the 

Low place would overcome

And the darkness would see

Victory 

Late now

The circle complete

Breathing demonstrates 

A serenity 

A sort of calm

Saying a good

Not perfect day 

Has passed

Jesus reigns

And I am

Enough