wasting time vs relaxing

Florida trip 2o11 day one...

Sitting in a Hampton in Stauton VA. Ate at a Red Lobster and now sitting watching TV and messing on the computer. My font is looking extra dark like its stuck in BOLD. So I do not know how it will look when published.
I do miss my babies already. But, I know I need this getaway. We considered bringing Kaleb, he did so well in Canada and is 6 months older. But, common sense won out. I guess. DA was clinging when i left saying, "don't leave Ammie, don't leave." He did run off and play then, but it still broke my heart. I had been talking to Kaleb for several weeks, trying to prepare him as he is less adaptable to new routines and situations. DA is usually just happy to be alive, rarely worries about much. I am blessed to see he is beginning to feel part of a home, our home, our family.
kaleb was doing well with the vacation he wasn't going on; he understood who was staying with him and that we would be back. Drew talked to them tonight and had pleasant conversation.

We have been making this trip for 13 years this year. Jer will be 15 a week from Sunday. I can hardly believe it. Life at our house is as intense as it was 15 year ago, well maybe not; Drew's dad had just died and Julia had skin cancer...That was rough. Now, the boys are active but growing fast, learning good things and not so good every day. But I can see God working in their lives.

My life has been difficult as of late. My mind seems like it has left for vacation months ago. I know I have been cranky, short tempered and down right nasty at times. Looking for find rest, much rest, and a way back to my saviour. Peace that has escaped me is what I seek. Rest in spirit, mind and soul will take me home a kinder gentler mom, wife and grammie.