Saturday, February 14, 2015

A pen. A cup of coffee. In paradise.

I get it now. In had to experience it first hand. For myself. Feel my heart swell. Melt. Explode with joy. Simple. Thank you Ammie. And for what? A pen. A pen to play Tic Tac Toe. With me.. Thank you. Straight from heart. No pretense. And how blessed was I..
And so, that is the secret. The eurcharisto. The lesson I have stumbled. Tripped. Danced. Over and around for two years. Gratitude. Not for the great and the large. But the simple. Honest. From the heart. The hearing of it blessed me beyond the confines of language. I knew it meant love. The deepest act, expression of love. And I was undone. 
So that's it. 
It's what He wants. From me. He will receive my thanks as love. 
All week I had haggled with myself and with Him to hear the revelation I felt, the lesson i was to learn   hear in the sun. It was all about a pen. 
Defeated in paradise. I grappled with my tiger wild. biting. Whining. Defiant. Tongue sticking out. Face making. Disrespectful. Did I mention whining. Tantrum throwing boy cubs. Stunned, I felt helpless to reign them in. Here in the sun all the while home frozen and subarctic, life should be beautiful. 
My heart longed to be able to impart the obvious. Can't you be grateful.  
And while the mediocre coffee gurgled and I grumbled in my heart, longing for a better cup. I saw. I remembered. The pen. The words that followed.  
It was the thanking. The pen. The silly pen. 
It's what He wants. 
The thanking. 
Not the grumbling. 
And He will receive our love. 
And we will have given it. Simply. Purely. 
Loved Him. 
In return. 
We receive. 
Communion with the Creator of the universe. 

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