Five Minute Friday:City

Night Life 

Lights 

Excitement 

Energy 

Beauty 

Monuments 

Concerts 

Baseball 

Lost Souls aplenty 

Broken 

Runaways 

Power 

Money 

Crime 

Hatred 

Searchers 

Just like in the country 

We all need Jesus 

Redeem hearts dear Jesus  

May Your Love abound 

Five Minute Friday: Teach

 A little late to the table. I am going to try and sneak this in. Yesterday was a day full of lessons. Even tho I prayed for a successful for first day of school for both boys, nagging doubts plagued my day. For the younger my doubts were minimal, mostly what did he have on under his sweatshirt. The older was beginning his ninth grade year in a new school. Different from the one he had attended since kindergarten. He needed the added support that the public school offered. His Christian school provided Godly teachers and curriculum, but did not have the resources required to move him through high school addressing his autism. 

Surprisingly when he came home he was light hearted with a positive attitude. With everyone one but me. He hated it and was NOT going back. I smiled, I had expected his backlash he directed towards me. Inside I rejoiced knowing the day had gone ok. 

The younger came home half good attitude and 100% hungry. God surprised my doubting heart. And I was grateful. 

Five Minute Friday: Accountability

 I tend to live a bit of a hermit’s life.  It can be cozy, but also quite lonely. Not much accountability either. My personal and spiritual lives suffer from lack of input from others. In reality one should not have a personal life and a spiritual life. One, I, ought to have a life. A life open to service and also inspection. When my thoughts and emotions are known only to myself, they can become distorted. Drifting from the true and concrete to smattering of hazy, unfettered ideas and wrong thinking. If I’m in a hard place and only turn on inward for my consul and comfort, I have nothing to give myself. I it’s imperative that I reach out to friends or family to secure realistic and compassionate support. In return I can pray and seek God honestly. Right thinking is a result of the love and care of others. It is essential I be humble and receive graciously what God has gifted me. 

Five Minute Friday:Drive

 Recently I was faced with a significant decisions. My fourteen year old grandson needed some extra support academically. He is functional and autistic. He wanted to play high school football in the worst kind of way. Two options, the first logistically and financially way past challenging. The second, enroll him in public school, taking him out of the school and social setting he has known since kindergarten. He could play football at the local high school and get the IEP he needed to give him the education and life skills necessary for him to be successful post high school. Deeply entrenched in his life long comfort place, he was willing to forgo football and stay where he was. Long and short of it, through prayer and counsel, the will of God became clear. And was there ever a battle. 

But God, gently prodded his young heart. And here I sit. Half and hour from home, committed to driving Kaleb to practice four days a week. The future is never for sure. A step of faith and the driving begins. 

Strong

Joshua 1:9.  Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

Above is one of my cling to verses. Many years back someone spoke those words over me. The hard stuff of life was beating me down. I felt as tho I was the losing one at end of the battle. I was commanded at a time of weakness to be strong. To be courageous. To not be frightened or dismayed. All at a time when my heart was discouraged. Terrified and anything but strong. And yet, God said, you will be; strong, courageous, fearless, emboldened. 

How can it be? “For the Lord God is with you wherever you (I) go!”  In fact I was then, as I am today; regardless of how I feel, or think. I am already all the things God commands me to be. Despite circumstances or trials of life. I am because He is. In His weakness I am made strong. 

Five Minute Friday: Order

 Sigh* Yes, order. So I have spent the last half an hour searching for a verse I know is either in Proverbs or Psalms; or somewhere in the Bible. Pretty sure it’s one of those, Psalms or Proverbs. Goes something like, “For where there is order, there is peace.” In my vague memory, the general gist was something like, if your home is in order, tidy, orderly, well managed; then there will be peace in the home. 

Order equals peace. 

I have a girl, like my daughter, who cleans and brings order into our chaotic home. Beds, laundry. Floors. Lunch or dinner when I can’t. The house will be in perfect order when she is finished. And I will breathe peace  Rugs are vacuumed. Clean tablecloth. No dirty dishes or fishing equipment on the counters or dining room table. I like when I come home after she’s worked, I walk in, house smells fresh. I feel at peace. Free to sit outside or take a nap. Rest for my soul. Released from the pressure of doing what was needed, but so challenging for me to accomplish.

 I love order, but it is difficult for me in my home, my family, my mind.  Maybe if  my thoughts were in order, I will have peace of mind. Jesus sends us His peace. And if I am quiet, open to hear and feel His presence I can expect His order and His peace. 

Ok, like the formatting on this disjointed piece. Can’t figure out how to fix it. Not in o

Five Minute Friday: Summer

 Psalm 74:17  

You have fixed all the boundaries of the earth;  you have made summer and winter.

Seasons. 
Spring and fall 

Summer and winter. 

God hems in the earth

Sets it’s boundaries 

Each season makes possible 

The one to follow. 

Winter snow enriches the soil 

Allowing glories of spring 

Cleansing rainstorms 

Enrich the fields

Introducing summer’s production of food and flowers. 

The existence of humans depend on the cycling seasons 

Autumn paints the hillsides then

sheds its exquisit foliage 

Creating a fertile compost to receive the winter’s crystal blanket. 

So it begins again. 

Five Minute Friday: Deserve

 Coming from an extremely Orthodox Church background growing up; we were taught fervently that we deserve nothing. We were completely void of any good and wretchedly sinful. And yet oddly, Galatians was the theme book. I embraced Jesus knowing I needed saving. But it wasn’t really about Jesus the person. The Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He definitely did the saving, yet our sin nature always present, with no hope of debt relieving grace. Hence the conundrum. At least from a young teens perspective  

 I remember the end of all my dad’s praying, “Almighty God forgive us for we are wretchedly sinful and unworthy, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.”

Years later I encountered a nondenominational church whose  people used Jesus first name. A lot. I was stunned and taken aback  It felt strange to say it. Jesus. Even the third person of the trinity, His name was spoken OUT LOUD!  All very strange  Holy Spirit. And, I could get saved; in a personal way, by a holy but real person.

Honestly, I believe I came into “the saving knowledge of faith,” when I was a teenager, but never given tools or teaching on how to walk out the Christian life. 

Now, I understand I do not in anyway deserve salvation. But Jesus, first name; suffered on the cross, died, and rose for my salvation. AND, placed in me a new nature  His!  Of course sin is still a battle  I know the end and who wins. Sanctification is my journey not a destination  I. Am. Not still a wretch. I am an heir with Christ. My eternity is assured  my soul is set free. 

Five Minute Friday: Quiet

Today I have been given the gift of quiet, making quiet a most appropriate a prompt. Last evening and  most of today I am alone in one of my sweet spots. One grandson is away at youth camp the other home with his Pap. Yesterday Kaleb captured a small green snake. Now he is in his glory. Not my personal source of joy. But I am blessed for him. 

As for me, given a day of freedom from the daily pressures of home; and rearing two teenage wildcats, I’m wallowing in the serenity of alone in the quiet. I am allowed the freedom to seek Jesus. It’s been a long meandering crawl to find my way back to His light and life. Depression is a nasty creature. Alas, a story for another day. 

Today is my day alone with Him. 

Five Minute Friday:disagree

 Disagree 

    I believe the person I disagree with the most; is myself. My mind plays a constant battle with the question, “what should I do next?”

    I do not regularly set goals. 

I know it’s important. Difficult to accomplish what I do not plan on doing. 

    I struggle and have struggled most of my life with depression. Depression is often misunderstood by many. Those closest to us. Even I myself.  Hence the battle within. 

   Some Christians consider it a spiritual problem. It might be. But I know I can’t pray it away. I eat healthy. I get exercise. I have a therapist. I take medication and supplements. I’m am doing my best to be my best. 

   One of my biggest enemy is the, “Usta coulds, and the I should be!”

So there lies the disagreement. Deep in my coursing spirit I am not alone. The confidence I know and yet do not always FEEL is real.  

  But no matter. My God is. And will always be both my front and real guard. 

   And in there I find rest. 

Five Minute Friday:

  Proverbs 13:11, ESV: "Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it."

  Slowly work towards your goal. The scripture uses the word wealth, however, I believe we can transpose it into anything we value. Could be a sin we are trying to overcome. Or perhaps a strength or gift in our lives we want to pursue, to become more accomplished. 

  I would like to be more cheerful, kinder, more patient. Also, spend more time with my horses, to ride regularly again. To seek fellowship with other Christian women, friends I need and desire in my life. 

  I look at all these goals and convince myself they should all be accomplished quickly. Today? Instead of taking the time to slowly work on a few at a time. To rely on the Holy Spirit to lead me and guide me. God does not want be to be burden to myself. To pressure myself into overnight change. When I seek to hurry, rush, I may meet my mark, but it will not endure over time. Little by little I must work to increase my proficiency thereby establishing the destination I chase, and maybe more.  

Five Minute Friday: Recover

 Recover

  Every day we are hit with a barrage of stress, some lighter. Some heavier. Stress and life's hard stuff cannot be compared. Comparing anything in our lives to someone else's is never a positive approach to our own life or those around us. Jesus gives us each our own trees to climb and mountains to navigate.

   How we recover each day from all we have walked, swam, or maybe climbed over, is both individual and universal.  I have my challenges and joys and so do you. Whereas God leads on different paths, the recovery, rejuvenation at the end of the day is the same.

  Look to Jesus. Keep our eyes above the troubles in our land. Say that He alone is Good. In Him are the answers to all our trials, the source of all our joys. Seeing how we each travel in our own different strengths and weaknesses; some of us will stumble through, or dance rejoicing, hopefully maybe both. Jesus is our rest and source of restoration, where our recovery happens. 

  We cannot live in this world without being tainted in some way by its ignorance of God. At the end of the day tell Him what was hard. Triumphs you experienced, and your deepest yearnings for tomorrow. 

  Rest. Recover. Remember, He holds the whole world in His hands, as scary as that might seem during these uncertain times.  His world. His hands. Rest easy.

Yes and amen.

Five Minute Friday: excuse

 I am a writer. That doesn’t mean I write. Regularly. I know that God has gifted me with the ability to string words and phrases together in an interesting manner. I had a college professor tell me not to say, “I’m a wanna be writer. Or I hope to be one someday.” You either are a writer or your not. A writer has to write regularly. Practice their craft. Be diligent in becoming proficient in the stringing together of interesting, words, weaving them into something that someone would want to read  

I want to be consistently good at what I do. Writing a decent piece brings fulfillment and a sense of accomplishment. And, I’ve used my precious gift  

But yes, I’m full of excuses  “I’m tired. I’m not in the mood. I’m dry; I’ve got nothing today.” Without stretching myself  pushing through the excuses I will not grow and blossom in writing. I will shrivel and not produce the fruit I desire  

I wouldn’t let excuses like those stop me from doing chores or raising my grandsons. (Well, I might) 

 Please hold me accountable Lord. Remind to pursue my passion, and with much gratitude walk in my calling.  

Five Minure Fridy: Middle

                                             Middle  

Today we live in turbulent times. The media offers us more questions than answers. Social media is full of discord, division, and dysfunction. Sadly; friends, neighbors, casual and close relationships explode into negative conversations and criticism.  As a country we have decided that politicians and scientists are the answer to our problems and responsible for giving us living the lives we desire. 

Jesus lived and walked on this same earth during similar times. Cruel tyrants ruled the lands. Evil and oppressive Pharisees bullied the Hebrew church, using for their own gain the laws God had set in place for them to care and instruct His flocks. The people longed and prayed for a political leader, a king as they believed the old testament had promised them. A super leader who would strike down the Roman Empire and set them free from their bondage. Yearning for a change in governments and earthly king would bring them freedom. 

What they got was Jesus. The son of a carpenter from the measly town of Nazareth, what good could possibly come form Nazareth? Jesus, humble from birth and throughout his life came to give them life, freedom from sin and a pathway to eternal life with the great I AM. Not what they expected or really wanted. 

Jesus rocked the Hebrew world. And they killed Him.

Two thousand plus years later we live in a world of brokenness, confusion, and dependency on government and our philosophers. Expecting them to provide us with health and the lives we want to live. Our way. 

The Old Testament prophecies spoke of the Jesus to come. The New Testament, the story of Jesus here on earth, and the fulfillment of His mission.  

And now we live in the middle. The in between part. Jesus lived. Died. Left us with the Holy Spirit and the New Testament. And we wait. The written word is complete. We are waiting for His return. In a broken scary world. In the middle. Anxious for his return. But wanting His desired plan to be complete. 

We  can be fearful. I am sometimes. But like the Hebrews of the Old Testament we have been told to wait. For His return. The Word says no man knows time. Many seek to figure it out. Looking for signs. What I know is the Holy Spirit lives within me. Jesus walks by my side daily. And the Father in heaven holds my life in His hands.

Here in the middle I stand. I wait. But I live my life in confidence that the middle is not the end. Jesus will return. The old will be made new. And if will be more than we could ask or imagine. Amen.

Five Minute Friday: She

Brio

In the last few days i have learned a powerful lesson from my mare. A mare is a she in the equine world. It has been said that you tell a gelding but always ask a mare. A mare can have a mind of her own, and she is never afraid to let you know how she feels about a matter. She is quick to use her free will to convince you that the decision is always hers to make. Free will. Her decision. Her way. 

So goes the story. Brio, twelve years old. Independent. Basically a compliant personality. She can certainly have her moments. And there have been a few people she just did not care for, and was quick to let them know. In the past for the most part I have been able to remember the rules and let her think that my choices were hers. 

The vets were here this week and they shared the information I already knew but was not ready to admit. She is fat. Like obese fat. I had her to a trainer. She lost a few pounds. Fresh spring grass found them for her rather quickly. My good veterinarian offered a solution that had not occurred to me. Though it should have. A grazing muzzle. She had one, hanging in my feed room. She had used it in the past. It limits the amount of feed she can eat and slows down the process. So she eats less. 

Good plan. The next day I am running behind. Of course in a hurry. I rush to the barn to let the herd out to pasture for the day. Everyone is kicking their walls. whinnying loudly, impatient to get out to that great green pasture. I grab the muzzle and head into her stall. Brio's stall. Yes. I forgot the golden mare rule. Walking up to her with the apparatus in hand I reach for her head. Yea, she took one look at me and gave me her butt. He big quarter horse rear end. Not to worried, I walked around towards her head. Only her head again became her rear. After a few circles around the stall both of us are getting peeved. Problem is her twelve hundred pounds to my, well somewhat less than that creates a disadvantage for me.. I see the legs attached to that rear end beginning to pick themselves off the floor shavings and point in my direction. Now I am getting unsettled. She is working up to war. Fine! Stay inside today. I throw her a flake of hay and hurry out. 

OK. That didn't work. I knew it. I knew why. Later that day I go back out to the barn. Brio is calmer as am I. Lesson learned. I approach her slowly. Whispering gently and scratching her favorite itches. I walk slowly up her side to her head. Still whispering and rubbing. She knows what I am up to, but is not overly anxious. I gently swing a lead rope over her neck and quietly decrease the slack. She resits some, but I am able to slip the contraption over her muzzle and ears and set the clip. I continue to fuss and love on her as I slip a treat into the nylon cage. Front door is open. She turns her head back, twice for a second look and lopes off the her pals. 

Back in the house I think back over the the two interactions of the day. I am reminded of my free will granted by my Father in heaven. He never forces us to do His will. He asks. He does not tell.  He is gentle. Kind. Patient. He acts out of love. I love my silly stubborn Brio, but I must ask her gently, kindly, and she will trust me and do what I ask. God is the same. His loves draws us in, and even if we are not excited, maybe barely willing, His patience and kindness encourages us to trust him and follow His ways.

 

grazing muzzle

Five Minute Friday Prompt: Remedy

 My Husband believes the solution to all minor injuries in Iodine. I do not remember being covered with the ugly red blotches, but do remember the dread. The crying. Begging my mom to stay away from my already painful injuries, with that wicked red liquid. I was never successful. She did also treat my wound with kind words, gently blowing away the sting. 

Now as I age I've become a bit more holistic in my wound treating and general household cleaners, food, lifestyle. In my home I have my husband two young teens we are raising. Iodine is always his first choice. I have salves, oils, some CBD creams, and sprays. While the boys will reach both ways to seek home first aid. DrewAllen, bites his lip or the inside of his mouth, he runs to the bathroom and paints his sore with iodine. If he gets a cut he wants the CBD cream. Deep Blue for muscle aches, (which doubles as husband repellent) he hates the smell. Kaleb, is coming along, he not longer calls my stash witchcraft, and depending on the pain will come over to my dark side, as he describes them

Different injuries require different remedies. Some surgery. Some a kiss and a band-aide. 

Today's world is filled with broken people. Broken Marriages. Loss of faith and friendships. Great divides. Fear. Worst of all hatred.

No matter the wound or the loss, the remedy is still the same.

Jesus.

The cross is where we find eternal salvation and communion with the Father. Jesus also brings holy remedies, first aid to our fleshly hurts and open wounds. Whether it is the sting of Iodine, healing salve, or a kiss and a band-aid.  His presence in our lives today is more than enough to get us to tomorrow. 

And His red stains paid for it all. 

Lambchops

      “This is the song that never ends. It just goes on and on, my friend.Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was.And they'll continue singing it forever, just becauseThis is the song that never ends…!”

     The song that never ends will live on in your mind till eternity and beyond. Once hearing it, say hundreds or maybe only a few times, it will never leave you. Your last day in the dementia ward, before crossing into the next world, the words will still be swirling through your conscious and unconscious mind: waiting for someone to sing along.

     Raising children has been like that for me. Yes, it's the job, I mean Joy, that never ends. It just goes on and on and on and on. Period. No one really sings along. I mean I wish they would. With a little help we could turn it into a whole musical production. Different parts. Different sets. A stage manager. “Can’t you just see it?”What a production it could be!Unfortunately, the production could not raise enough funding, so today it's just me and my brood. Without getting too up close and personal,

     “Come and listen to a story about…”  Yea that is the Beverly Hillbillies theme song. Lately these ditties keep running through me somewhat depleted gray matter.

      If we count the two grandsons currently residing in my home, and well we kinda must. They live here. I am responsible for their bathing and toothbrushing. Often that is the least of my worries.

     “‘Are you dead?”

“What on earth did he do to you that you thought the baseball bat was a good idea?”

“I know you didn't actually hit him with it. But, swinging in it in his general direction had us both concerned.”  The somewhat loud discussion continues. “And you were screaming, ‘I'm going to kill you’. That threw me off a bit.” I mumbled barely audible. No, not really, more like at a death scream.

     “Well yes, I agree, afterwards, he did throw a few well-placed jabs. Honestly, you kinda deserved it.” I sigh dejectedly.

      Both offended parties retreat to neutral ground. Me, I pour myself a healthy glass of dark red.

     So, I guess the above would be a chapter in the last section of the narrative.

     Yet, it is the one I am living now, so the easiest for me to recall and retell.

     Not all the stories are quite so violent. We do have laughter and good food. We eat out a lot.

Perhaps being involved in a group of young writers will push me to dig deeper into adventures of the past, wherein lie exciting tales to tell.

     Truly there are many joys in parenting. The terrain is rocky, and the paths are steep. God alone gives grace, so that we all may survive. Would I trade my current adventure for another? Please do not ask me twice. Regardless, this is my journey to travel. By Grace alone, we will all flourish and give Glory to the God who kept us all alive.

 Side note: I joined a writing group that meets once a month. They are the young writers. I’m the old lady in the group. Taught several in homeschooling 20 years ago.

Five Minuet Friday: Broken

 

 Broken

 "If it ain't broke, it ain't ours!" One of my husband's frequent quips, he has quite the repertoire. He is famous for his quips and quotes. Mostly, they are funny. This particular one, sometimes. Unfortunately not often.  I hear it as we are staring at perhaps, a hole shaped oddly like a baseball, dented into the siding. Perhaps, when we hear the ping of a BB gun, followed by the shattering of glass. Or maybe when we enter a grandson's bedroom and switch on the light, and remain in the darkness. Oddly again, another bedroom light/fan no longer produces light and one fan blade slightly off kilter. Holes in the couch, looking oddly like a small slit from a pocket knife. No back. No batteries in any remote. No problem. A futon bed used as a couch but bent in two. Like in half...extruded.

You get the picture. Broken. So much of the stuff of life, our house. Yes, our boys, grandsons, been with us since they were babies, can be a bit destructive. they break stuff. Sometimes it seems overwhelming. And costly. 

Thankfully, we have the Perfect example of how to love and forgive. Ignore sometimes, (mostly because we are not in our thirty's anymore.) See, they are broken. From birth they were rejected, and suffered much in the womb, and in the earliest days of their lives. So we love them because Jesus loves us, and His love empowers us. Even tho it seems we continue to find ways to break His heart. 

These boys are not easy. To raise. To teach. To love. Yes I will admit it they can be hard to love. Yet still they are loved. Because Jesus loved me first. He came to this earth to save us from our brokenness   as we often break the stuff of His world. So, If we ain't broke, we ain't His." But we are broken and we are His. And He loves us still.  

 

 

 

Five Minute Friday: Permission

 Permission  

     By default our lives are constructed in such a way that as adults we know we are not our own. First to Christ. Our families, friends, folks who happen into our lives that we are called to love and serve. All this commands sacrifice. We give time, energy, emotions, maybe even finances. Giving and serving is something as Christians we are commanded to do. So we do. 

But what happens when we have given all we have. We can become exhausted. Cranky. Maybe feeling guilty because we are not doing more. Already giving freely from and empty cup.

Permission. We need to give ourselves permission to rest. To refuel our giving tank, so to speak. Maybe even take some time away. 

A few weeks back, I was exhausted, weary. I knew. Knew, I was not giving the people in my life what they needed and deserved. My tank was depleted. I was all those things mentioned above and more.   I found myself opening a flight app on my smarter than me phone, and looking up flights to Florida. Crazy, I could just pack and fly south by 2:00 pm! 

But that is exactly what I did. It was bold. Moms and wives do not just up and go away. I did. I realize we do not all have that luxury to flyaway to someplace warm for five days. I am grateful for the means to secure that kind of escape. I had been given permission. I believe by God. He needs us at our best. The more difficult permission came from myself. I had to be brave enough to let go, and do what I needed. 

If, or rather when, you find yourself needing self care. Do not hesitate. God has already given the go ahead. Give yourself permission. And Go. Or do. Get that pedicure. Find a place to retreat and refuel. Meet someone for lunch for no reason.  I believe one of the most difficult ways we must give, is to ourselves. Jesus retreated to pray. To be alone. To rest. You have His permission to take care of you.

Five Minute Friday: pressure

 Avoiding self inflicted pressure to do more and be more is a new project of mine. I came to realize that my plate was overflowing, spilling to the floor, sometimes  the more important stuff. More than my plate could hold. All of us have been given different sized plates lest we compare and condemn  ourselves and others. I’m working on  building an escape route from condemnation. Self disappointment.  I want to avoid placing a pressure on myself to do an be more than  I am able or am called to do. I am determined to seek what God would have me accomplish. And next. Breath in. Breath out and relax a bit. 

In this hurry scurry world we live in, the pressure to do more and accomplish much had become a burden. For me anyways. A self adopted burden that is not God’s best for me. For us. Yes, He calls us to do a full day’s work. To serve others. But then he calls us to rest. To reflect. Spend time with Him. Our families. 

 God did not create the whole world in one day. I mean He could of. He’s God. He broke it into six days. Each with its particular assignment. And we know on the seventh he rested. He commands us to do the same. 

God is kind and patient with us. I believe we should do the same. Be kind and patient with ourselves.