Today, today I played like a little boy. Yup, had to move some dirt piles around in the practice arena my husband Drew is putting in for me and the horses. A couple of truck drivers from the tipple he owns delivered three tri-axle loads of sand. Before they could tailgate if off I had to do some clean up work with the highlift bucket and back blade of my John Deere. Pretending I knew a whole lot about moving dirt than I actually did I was able to more or less get the job done. If nothing else I sure had the dust flying. But there was just something fun about sitting in the tractor seat and running the not so big bucket. I remember when I was a kid I always had fun playing in the dirt with the boys. Today was sort of like living a memory and making a new one at the same time.

I wish I knew how to put into words the deep resonating kind of satisfaction I have been experiencing lately. Seems like the horses, the chores involved in their care; the muscle streaching activity of riding and training, just fills me to the overflow with a sense of accomplishment. But it is more than that, it is if in a way I have come into my own, sounds like some sappy 60's song. I guess I "found" myself. Truely, I wasn't even looking for myself. I was pretty ok with were I was. How can dirt and sweat, and manure and mud give me an emotional buzz like I have not know.

Obviously, this is not bigger than my relationship with God, or deeper than my love for my family. At 47 years old though, it is good to be secure in a nitch, a new nitch at that; secure and content in a new adventure. Yup, I played in the dirt, and it was just alright.