Tonight I hooked up for the first time, the baby monitor Mary Bennett was kind enough to lend me . While Kaleb is fast asleep baby #2, DrewAllen, is yet to nod off into dreamland. I can hear him grunting and stirring around on the other side of the wall. I am not sure if he is warming up to get louder or winding down to sleep. He fights sleep harder than his older brother. When Kaleb is tired a snort of milk in his bottle, a few fits of whining, and the snoring begins. Last time I peeked in at DA as Jer calls him, he was sucking both his thumb and his blanked while staring off into the blackness of his dark room. Not pitch black or anything, I am not a fiend; the door is open and the hall light is on.
Today was Jer's first day at his new school. He looked very handsome in his black and red polo shirt and black jeans. The only thing we forgot was his Bible. He needs an NIV, which I know that I have several, but do you think I could find one tonight? Not true. I did find a children's Bible that is an NIV, but I am not sure he will want to carry it to middle school. He seemed pleased, not talkative or real descriptive; but he was not complaining or grumbling either, so I am happy. OOh, I hear a squeal, drats. Anyway, I drove him, Jer, into Indiana and then went to pick him up at three this afternoon. Hopefully, I will be able to contact another mother who works in town and also drives her child in to school every day. I have tried several times with to no avail.
OK, time for me to get some sleep. Check on the baby and tuck myself in. I am oh so grateful for the grace God has poured into my life these last weeks. My friends and family have been so helpful and supportive. I can feel power behind the many prayers which have been offered up on behalf of my family and myself. Thank you.
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As I alluded to in earlier comments, September is a busy travel month. It's started... this is my second day in Harrisburg. I had dinner with my counterpart and her boyfriend, last night... kind of fun. At least one long meeting today... 10-3. Another one currently nestled in there (11-1). Sheetz has regular unleaded for $3.43, which makes me giddy! Whoo!
Anyway. The kids look cute, and hope that DA fell asleep soon after his noise-making. Glad, too, that Jer seems to be liking school. I had to laugh at not being able to find a NIV when you need one.
Hope you have a great week, and that things continue to cool and calm down.
Sandy, those kiddies are SO precious. When I was holding DA and went to put him back in his seat that night, I nestled him close and enjoyed every minute.
I know these are hard days, but you are making a different in the boys lives and I know He is pleased with you.
I really think I am going to try and send my kids to Seeds of Faith as well. I want to visit there once I get closer, but my poor kids will have been through so much already, it would be nice to send them to a Christian school. I like that the classrooms are smaller and that they will be supporting my values and beliefs.
More later... have a good day all...
I'm sorry, that photo of Kaleb just crack me up. His facial expression... "Oh, hello! So nice of you to join me... juice?"
And Vicki, why assume that the kids you adopt will have been through so much? I'm not playing devil's advocate, but not EVERY child in foster care or up for adoption is a mess.
Back to my Fugazi. Alternated with Dale Carnegie (yes, the famous How to Win Friends and Influence People) and Brian Tracy (The ULTIMATE Goals Program where he looks and sounds like a Tony Robbins rip-off). Some of this is common sense, some of it common, but often forgotten and unused, sense. Some of it sounds so lame it's not even BAD new-age hippy-trippy philosophy. But I'm becoming the best ME that I can, and could I interest you in becoming a life-changing foster parent? Or would you like to buy a bridge? Or a time-share condo?
Oh, Vicki, thought you might find this interesting... it's from another one of my favorite blogs... (Take Your Vitamin Z): Russell Moore on Adoption
and a link to the T4A (Together For Adoption) blog.
Wow Rob... I remember you saying at youth camp how so many adoptive and foster parents think they are going to get a child(ren) that doesn't have any problems and will fit into their family and when they get the child home they are a mess... Are you softening up some? Thanks for the encouragement.
My mom and I have spent hours trying to figure out how to move the room around in my room or the spare room to fit two twin beds. I hate bunk beds, so I wanted to get two twin beds that were both on the floor.
Finally tonight I went online and used a program to help me move the furniture around to see how to make it fit. Now I can keep my eye open for sales on beds. I will wait of course until I know exactly which kids I am getting, but want to keep my eye on what I would like. I like the kind where there is a book case at the headboard and drawers under the bed practically speaking, but I like a pretty wooden frame or even a nice metal frame (with no foot board... I also hate footboards) from a style point of view. In the end I am sure my wallet will win.
I want to check into the Amish furniture. Several people have had the Amish make their beds and they are really nice.
My real estate teacher called tonight. She had a schedule conflict and wanted to change one of the class nights to a night i had an adoption class. I shared with her that I had an adoption class but if that was the only night she could do, I would miss the adoption class and make it up later. She got really excited and insisted that I not miss the class and was willing to work something else out. She shared that she has adopted two kids from the foster care system and said she knows how hard it is waiting and going through the process and didn't want to slow it down for me. She said she couldn't wait to talk about it when she saw me. Really nice lady. I just hope I understand what she is teaching...
Night all... gotta go to sleep... very tired.
Sandy, kiss those precious ones for me...
And "AD," he looks like the godfather, or something, laid back in his rocker, beckoning us to come closer, he wants to kiss us on the cheek.
I don't know if I've softened, Vicki... I still see that some of the most messed up kids are those in the adoption system BECAUSE, in part, of the adoption system. They're forced onto people and no one really knows all the details. Many adoptions have sealed records, so that you literally can't know large parts of the child's history until AFTER the adoption is official. How crazy is that?
A big concern, however, is the length of time to get a child, much less a sibling pair... look how open some people in the church have been, and how long, still, it's taken. I'd hold off on purchasing furniture until you have a better idea about all of this. People wait YEARS for a single child... sibling pairs are, like babies, the holy grail or something, and are in high demand.
And now, playing devil's advocate, what if the kids you get are very much in need of help, and come with lots of strings attached, as far as in-home services, therapy, and they're nowhere ready for public or private school, but instead need to be bussed to Pittsburgh for special partial hospitalization treatment? There are districts who automatically assume because a child is in foster care that they're trouble and put them in emotional support classes.
So... my advice is to wait and see what the various agencies tell you after your home study, and after you start looking more seriously at kids and all of the strings/baggage that come with them. Remember how I told you, a few weeks ago, to make sure you get everything in writing? Sadly, that's very important. People at agencies get commission, literally, for getting this kids off of their hands and onto yours, and they'll tell you whatever you want to hear to get you to make that emotional/guilt connection and seal the deal. Think car dealers on crack. You have to be strong and ask a lot of questions, demand pre-placement visits, etceteras.
It sounds cold and cruel, but this is so much MORE serious and important than buying a car, and look how assertive we're supposed to be when doing that!
Thanks Rob. Oh, the commission part made me sick.
Lucky for me, dealing with car salesmen is my specialty. Who would have thought a hobby I have had since I was 16 would help me get my kids. They haven't met me yet... So is it the caseworker of the kids I am going to war with or my caseworker?
Remember when I said that the world of adoption was weird? But I guess it's not, really. I don't know.
It's their job to get these kids adopted. Just like MHMR needs to get kids placed coming out of RTF's and hospitals... sure, they'd love to put the kids where they'll absolutely get the best treatment, but if a more questionable place is much closer and less expensive and has openings NOW, that's who they'll go with.
And you've already heard about negotiating to get the most money for your kids, right? It's your job to fight to get the highest stipend for them, and the best overall "package deal." It's the agency's job to not give everyone the best deal, so they, too, can make money and stay afloat. You don't think SWAN and all of it's affiliates, with their fancy offices and conferences and swag do all this for free, do you? They're in this to make money.
If you have a heart of gold caseworker who only got three kids adopted, last year, and at a huge cost to the company versus a caseworker who got 35 kids adopted, for a low, low cost, which one do you think will be still working there in a year? Or which one do you think will be promoted?
You know what's made me so hardened and worldly-wise? My fonts. It all comes back to fonts. Ha ha ha!
I'm not saying everyone is out to screw you over, but you have to be, on some level, unemotional about this... my point about cars is that people get worn down or attached to a car... how much more would we get attached to kids, even with having them stay with us for a weekend?
Did I ever loan you the movie Second Best? I just sold it on eBay... so if I didn't, all I can do is suggest you hunt for it and rent it. It's powerful, and is full of heart-of-gold people, and still hard to watch.
Well I fight all day with utility companies, Dell (by the way I just returned my computer only to buy the exact same one again.) Evidently we can get it with the Windows XP downgrade. They tried giving me a hard time saying I couldn't get the downgrade that it stopped being available after July... not true... at the end of the conversation, I got the second computer cheaper than the first, it has Windows XP installed on it Vista can be installed - it comes on a disc (Like I want anything to do with that...) then I had them rush order it.
Given my love for wheeling and dealing with car dealers, I feel the Lord has prepared me to take on the system. I will just think of those big juicy steaks you are eating when they try to tell me they can only pay a small stipend. :)
Well, I hope you all are having a good day. I really want to go to the church picnic on Sunday. I am so excited that the picnic is closer to fall then the heat of the summer... Busy, busy season... Real estate classes on Monday... take care all...
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