I slipped the plastic "key" card into the slot, BINGO, the little green light flashes on; I correctly navigated technology and I am I the right room. Tossing my overnight on the rack thingy, I unload the remaining armload of belongings on the desk. Eyeing the wine, I hunt for a ice bucket. Alone, at last yes all by myself. Strangely at peace. A styrofoam cup unwrapped serves nicely as a wine glass. The red wine chilling; I know should be served room temperature, what a rebel I am. Alone is not lonely for me. Without the pursuit of God given pursuing me always friends, and of course my huge family, three men children and a husband at home, I would willingly become a recluse. Not good for my soul, but amazing for my fallen flesh. Always have struggled with loneliness in a crowd, a crowd being anyplace where there are more folks that just me. God has created each of us uniquely personal, individual, well different. Some thrive on activity, bustle, and chaos. Not me. I am thankful for weekends such as this where God allows me a break from the work of stretching He is doing in my heart an spirit.
In then day to day, decisions must be made, husbands and kids cared for, grand babies and their parents made time for and loved on. (All of these bring me great joy and gladness with out question), but the feeling than i am never doing enough, or doing it right, or like so and so, leaves me often frustrated, defeated, and LONELY. Cause of course everyone is getting right...Right?
Thank you Jesus for continually putting people in my life and good words written in love before me. I am reminded that I am uniquely called to my life and my family for Your purpose and good works. With best intent and all of Grace I continue on, often lonely in my journey, but never alone In my walk.
3 comments:
It's so nice to be alone sometimes, and yet not lonely! As a mother of three busy children, I totally get that. I will gladly take a moment of being alone, with time to myself, with peace in my heart. And I think that's exactly what spoke to me in your post. No matter what things you have done right or feel like you have failed at, there's that peace in your heart that God blesses you with. And, with that, you're never truly "alone." I think it says a lot about a person when they can be alone and feel that peace. You are a strong, independent, loving person who feels good about the life you're living. Peace to you! And Happy Friday!
Thank you Erin. You are kind, but your words are encouraging... God bless.
Thank you Erin. You are kind, but your words are encouraging... God bless.
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