As requested

photos of

Kaleb Daniel Kimmel

with his proud papa

Just looking cuteClowing around with Uncle Ned
With his mama, papa, granny, and Uncle Jer

And she fell off her horse...

God gave me a scripture this morning, speaking profound truths to me on many levels. I am in the bread of adversity and water of affliction leg of my journey. I have already fled and fallen, am still weeping a bit but I know the Lord is gracious and will hear my cry; He will bind up my brokenness and heal my wounds.

Jeremiah 30

15 For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel,In returning and rest you shall be saved;in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.But you were unwilling,

16 and you said,No! We will flee upon horses;therefore you shall flee away;and, We will ride upon swift steeds;therefore your pursuers shall be swift.

17 A thousand shall flee at the threat of one;at the threat of five you shall flee,till you are left like a flagstaff on the top of a mountain,like a signal on a hill.
18 Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you,and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.For the Lord is a God of justice;blessed are all those who wait for him.

19 For a people shall dwell in Zion, in Jerusalem; you shall weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as he hears it, he answers you.

20 And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher.

21 And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, This is the way, walk in it, when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.

22 Then you will defile your carved idols overlaid with silver and your gold-plated metal images. You will scatter them as unclean things. You will say to them, Be gone!

23 And he will give rain for the seed with which you sow the ground, and bread, the produce of the ground, which will be rich and plenteous. In that day your livestock will graze in large pastures, 24 and the oxen and the donkeys that work the ground will eat seasoned fodder, which has been winnowed with shovel and fork.

25 And on every lofty mountain and every high hill there will be brooks running with water, in the day of the great slaughter, when the towers fall.

26 Moreover, the light of the moon will be as the light of the sun, and the light of the sun will be sevenfold, as the light of seven days, in the day when the Lord binds up the brokenness of his people, and heals the wounds inflicted by his blow.

Whilst I stood quiet my bones wasted away...
or snapped off as the case may be

I stand firm in the grace of God knowing my redemption is sealed and my transgressions covered by the Cross Work and Resurrection of Jesus. I need not walk in condemnation or fear of retribution for acts committed by my sin nature. Though unseated from its former evil throne it is still able to raise its thorny head spewing pride, anger, unkindness, selfishness, laziness, and immoral thoughts wreaking havoc within my spirit and peppering my loved ones with toxic fallout. I commit the very acts which I despise and do not carry through with the good deeds I my heart yearns to bring forth.

OK, I had planned to tell a story, a true story of which I am still writing in my personal book of life. But sleep is calling loudly. I will have to come back to it. Suffice it to say God is currently in the process of walking me through the fiery furnace of purification and dross burning. The pain is great, but I am in faith for the greater good, and finer silver that will be produced.

Hunky Dory

Much time has passed since my last writing. Too much time. Truly...much has happened that should have been written about. Here is Dory, one of the wonderful horses God has blessed me with since the tragic death of my sweet Ginger. I am sitting here trying to find words to describe the events of this summer. I lost a wonderful horse, but was blessed by God with two sweet equines at no monetary cost to me. The stories behind both are incredible, touching my heart with the generosity and kindness of a new friend and also the surprising compassion a woman I have never met. I want to get it all down, for my sake before I forget the poignancy of it all, but also so that God's goodness can be seen and His praise be sung. But for now, I am sleepy beyond words and must hunt work clothes for my husband and put myself to bed.

Ginger and Katie

Thanks so much for the kind thoughts. We only had Ginger a little over a month but she was a special horse. She had a ton of potential and a great future ahead of her. She was a love at first sight horse, kind, willing, and ready to please her rider. Her pedigree was impeccable ; so her breeding future was limitless. We lost much in how we will miss her, but we were cheated out of many happy and productive future years. Her painful last hours were heart wrenching. I have never seen any living creature in such agony.

Today was better than yesterday, but still a long sad day, even tho I slept until 12:30. Ha! OK, it is late and I must get to bed. I have a miracle kind of story to record, but it will have to wait until tomorrow.

Jer and Ginger

My dear sweet friends... We had to take Ginger to an Equine hospital in Ohio last night, or early this morning depending on how you look at it. I had checked on her before I wrote last evening and she seemed under the weather, but not worse. I finished up in the barn office and stopped to check on her one more time, before I went to bed. She was down on the floor drenched in sweat and panting a bit. I rushed in and was able to get her up off the floor, called Katie and the vet. I gave her some tummy medicine and drug her out to the driveway to walk. The light drizzle revived me enough to focus keep walking. Katie and Luke arrived shortly and took over the walking drill. She went down hard once and we had to yell and pound on her pushing and pulling her till we were panting, well at least I was panting. I thought we were to lose her then when she lolled far over on her side. Her sweet head resting on the damp grass, she stared at us blankly, and then away as her eyes drifted shut. No! Luke was yelling, Katie was at her head my heart was screaming silent prayers. Suddenly she rolled over and stood up. It honestly felt like a miracle. 45 more minutes of walking and prodding, whipping her damp rear with leather reins, willing her to stay up. Finally the vet arrives; she does lots of vet type stuff. I could go into it, but its too much for now. After an hour or so, she asks if we would consider talking her to an equine hospital facility. Of course I will. I drag Drew out of bed; he Katie and I are on our way. She arrives in Ohio much worse, and continues to decline. The good doc cannot keep her pain managed, a risky and expensive $6000+ surgery is ruled out by the family. Around 12:15 PM this afternoon I give the word to relieve her suffering. We are very sad. She was a special lady and we had many future adventures planned for her in our barn and in our lives. We had her buried on Ohio at her old owners farm. She lies alongside a lifelong pasture buddy. It seemed right.

Ginger, her old owner, and me

My Ginger's not so Snappy

My new mare, her name is Zippo's Ginger Snap, Ned's horse, is ailing. She woke up this morning and had not eaten any of her last evening' s dinner; grain, but not hay. She seemed lethargic, and dull in the eyes. After several hours and still no appetite, I called the vet. I guess this was precipitated by a phone call from Jer saying her pee was red. Kinda scary. I saw her "go" tonight and its not so much red as dark burnt orange. I hope your reading Rob. I know how you love it when I talk about horse anatomy and equine secretions. But she puts me more in mind of a urinary track infection or something. Anyway, I am killing time in the barn hoping to check on her one more time tonight. I have been praying for her and if she is not better in the AM will get the vet out here. Animals are like baby humans they can't tell you what hurts, of where it hurts. Its real frustrating to see them hurting or sick and not no what to do.

We went to a church softball game this evening. Randy is on one team and Ned is on the other; so tonight was a loving grudge match. It was a ton of fun. Got to watch the game, and got to yack with a bunch of people I love but never see. Lots of laughter. Later we went for a late dinner and were supposed to go to the Meadows, a local ice cream place. But, Drew must have forgotten, I am not feeling like I had a chocolate waffle cone. Hmm! I guess it was raining buckets and sky illuminating lightening was turned up on high.

Ok, my head is starting to pound. Better check on my horse and get to bed. If you think of it, pray for my pony. Horses can go down real quick, like from a little sick to dead. Ok, 'nuff.

Uncle Jer

So much has happened since this picture was taken. Little Kaleb is going to be six weeks old. Can anyone imagine it would take me this long to post a pic, let alone to do any grandma bragging. So often I want to sit and write. Writing has always been the way I can best express my musings and mutterings. I know my my mind and spirit are all jumbled from lackings in my spiritual diet. Each day just blends into the next without my taking the time, making the time to delve into the word of God, or even to spend more than a moment seeking His blessing on my day. Why? Why? I know I cannot function on any level without the peace and power of the holy spirit in my life. Yet, I scurry out of bed already behind on the limitless list of tasks to be attempted that day. My mind and body are weakened by various health issues and still I do not partake of he most nourishing regenerating sustenance available. I stumble through each day fluttering from one unfinished chore to the next only to eventually fall into bed exhausted and yet unable to sleep as the pressure of the undone weighs heavy on my heart.

All's Well that Ends

The mare is bred. School is out for the summer. Yippee. We went to the end of the year program at Grace Christian School. Got my hair cut this afternoon. Ali got groceries. I am sitting with an ice pack; just took a pill and I'm breathing from the belly. All is good. It is amazing how God brings a day to an end and hope abounds. So many evenings I have allowed regret and anxiety to rob me of that end of the day peace that comes from jobs well done, or maybe just done, or perhaps at least written down on a list.

My primary prayer for my life is that I would learn to establish reasonable goals for each day and then discipline myself to accomplish them. I know God desires for me to walk strong in His calling on my life. In the past I have quickly filled my "hope I can" list with way more than I could ever realistically accomplish. I shied away from important tasks when they seemed overwhelming. By ignoring paperwork, phone calls, and appointments that needed to be made, I created enough home grown stress to keep my anxiety meter running way up in the red. Ok, I gotta save and come back later; fatigue is consuming my conscious mind. I do want to come back to this thougth though.

Oh yea, my shoulder is doing OK. I am not doing much, a few chores in the am, a few phone calls and other personal business, a big nap, then supper time. I was outside a good bit this evening simply because it was so nice. I rode with Drew up to the new farm and watched him water the cows. I sat in the car with a pillow under my arm. I am being served by incredible friends. My laundry is caught up, dinner has been wonderful; even my kitchen floor has been scrubbed. Luke and Katie have been helping with the horses and barn work. So...I am doing OK. I am praying for a miracle healing, or at least the patience to wait out a traditional recovery, six to eight weeks. I know I am not out of God's gentle care. I am grateful for His protection at the time of the fall and the kind Dr. at the hospital. He is so Good.
Now, I am going to sleep.

Rebreed Tomorrow

New semen coming in the morning. Yippee! Erin, the vet, was here today; after examination and a conversation with the stallion owner, it seemed like the re breed was eminent. A few hitches on the west coast side were ironed out, the semen was collected, and off to FedEx the syringes were on their way east. Hopefully there will be no inclement weather in our way. The magic package should be here by 10 A. M. Erin left a small syringe of ovulation booster to be given if the collection was successful; it was, Katie administered the injection with a little help from our Luke, and the deed was done. I believe we have done all we can do to give Zulu the best chance to conceive. I can just pray that it takes, so that in eleven months and eleven days from tomorrow we should have a sweet black and white baby horse.

Next Wednesday the 30th Allen and Stacey should have their new son, and Bev and I will have our new grandson. That is exciting. The induction is scheduled to begin at 6:30 or so. I imagine the baby should be here by noon. I am hoping to try and get down to Pittsburgh before then. Bev is taking them down the night before so they do not have to leave so early, like in the middle of the night to get there. Of course I have an appointment in Kittanning with the orthopedic surgeon about my collar bone at 8:15, so being in the city by noon should not be a problem, if I can go straight from the Dr's. OK, think I am rambling. Fatigue, medication, and an achy shoulder are urging me to dreamland.

Our God is an Awesome God. He is the author and originator of all life, human and equine. I am excited and energised praising Him for little Kaleb Kimmel. Thank you Jesus for making me a grandma.

Collarbones

I broke mine today, this evening really. Riding my horse, and having a grand time of it. Galloping across a green meadow, loving life. I lost my balance and off i went. I knew it was not good. I am typing with my left hand only, my right shoulder and side propped up with pillows. My right arm lies helpless across my chest. The xrays were fairly graphic, the bone snapped in two with several splinters broken off too. BUT, God was very good it could have been much worse. The treatment is Vicadin and a sling. Which reminds me, its time.

And I will yet praise Him.

Dishwasher II
Still not working properly. After running the entire cycle, a hard hazy scum is left on the dishes. The glasses do not even appear to have been cleaned. Again this morning I called the good people at Lowes and was asked if I had well water. Yes, I answered with a 5000$ purifying system on it. Oh, they say, well let me talk to the head guy. I wait. You know you bought the Cadillac of dishwashers so it is probably not the fault of the dishwasher. I am instructed to phone the manufacturer to see if any other appliances similar to mine have experienced similar problems. I should ask them what they suggest. I balked trying to control my rage. Why should I spend 500$ on a dishwasher, pay to have it installed, incorrectly, then pay my own plumber to fix the technician's mistake, now I have to telephone KitchenAide to see what they think I should do.

I used to use a local shop for all my appliance purchasing and repair. They were forced out of business by the mega stores, like Lowes. Now, I am forced to pay more for inferior service. How like the world this is. It makes grandiose promises as to its ability to satisfy and provide us with entertainment, excitement, and a brave new world. What we end up with is an empty meaningless, and costly substitute for the pure and simple Love of Jesus. Best of all it is free. He does not charge us twice for an inferior product.

I must go help Sheldon finish the chores.

Tired, tired, tired...
My hair is even tired, I think. The good news is my dishwasher is fixed. I think. My new dishwasher bought from the large, impersonal, mega-hardware; Lowes now works. It was installed by the good people Lowes hires to do their installations and remodeling. It ran one load and quit draining. Oh boy. After numerous phone calls and conversations with my husband we called our regular plumber, also a personal friend. He worked on it for maybe two hours, lying on the floor watching it run and drain. Finally he unkinked a hose that the Lowes guy kinked when he installed my new dishwasher last Friday. I paid to have installed, and now I will pay to have the installation fixed. Oh well.

As far as the episode yesterday with the missing credit cards and check, I am trying to come to terms with the disappointment. By considering my sin before God and how I disappoint Him over and over I can forgive and try to keep the whole mess in a perspective that points me to my Savior and away from own self. And who knows maybe I will find the stuff.

I took Allen and Stacey to Pittsburgh for a Dr's appointment at the OB clinic. Everything was good with the baby. The DR even has her content to wait maybe two more weeks to have the baby. Kaleb Daniel Kimmel. The whole trip seemed pretty OK. We had some laughs; they are both fun to be with. I found myself letting my guard down and yakking family gossip. Nothing malicious mind you. Stacey invited me into the room when they were doing the non-stress test, a monitoring of the baby's movements and any possible contractions. You can hear the heartbeat and him sloshing around in utero. We stopped for lunch on the way home and they thanked me over and over. I have to admit I was pretty whooped when I got home around 2:30. I napped till around five and then went to the barn to feed the horses. It felt good to walk into the barn and inhale that familiar smell. Anyone who loves horses knows the musky odor of hay and horse and manure. It is almost like a calming drug.

Later after dinner Drew asked me for a check I had in my car that belonged to him. I remember sliding in inside an envelope thinking, "better not push my luck." My traveling companions have been known to have sticky fingers. Digging through my bag and later rifling under the seats in the car, I began to feel a little sick. Back inside and into my purse. I am pretty sure there was a new credit card, a replacement for an expiring one in a side zipper. Truthfully, either the check or the credit card could have been misplaced by me. I looked in my barn office where I keep some financial stuff, for the cards (there were two of the same) not there either. Hummm. I hope I am forgetful, not stupid. And now maybe a bit brokenhearted.

Why I no blog. Hmm. Not so sure. I have a few excuses, no real ligit reasons. Well, maybe a few well constructed reasons. I have jello between my ears. Not in my ears mind you, that would be ear wax. The Jello resides deep within the gray matter. Solidified by fatigue the Jello is rendered uneatable by prolonged lace of stimulation, of perhaps it is an over abundance of stimulation. My recent days have been lacking too many naps and overflowing with way more activities than my norm of one event per week. There have been times in the last few weeks when I was subjected to as many as three events in one single day. Can you imagine? One like myself with such limited event-functionality, forced to take part and even perhaps initiate up to three events a day? Wow.

Whine, whine, whine. that is what I would tell someone else. SUCK IT UP for Pete's sake.

In one week I went to Ohio, twice, once for an overnight; once with my dad. For a funeral of a close friend. Earlier that week the vet was here twice, once to inseminate my black Paint mare. The semen was supposed to come on Tuesday of that week, but was lost in a tornado in Tennessee, so it came a day late. Multiple phone calls were involved in locating the package, and then rescuing it from the inclement weather and getting it to Pittsburgh and then to my home, at by the way 12:30am. Also, that Saturday I hosted a baby shower for my upcoming grandson, Kaleb Daniel Kimmel. He would be Allen and his girlfriend Stacey's baby. We had almost 30 ladies at Benjamin's Restaurant for lunch. Multiple phone calls were required to pull off that event. God, however is in the process of doing a great work in Allen's heart. He got to see his new son in a four dimensional sonogram last Thursday. They were in West Penn Hospital. I was privilege to get to spend some time with the (three) of them, one inutero, that same Thursday. My friend JS was with me as I had an appointment of my own at Magee Woman's hospital with an endocrinologist. Hyperthyroidism. You know, fatigue, nervousness, rapid heartbeat, sleeplessness. Minor health issues added to a myriad of other minor health issues; fortunately some of them doubled up. So I got to be twice as tired, have twice as much trouble sleeping, and had to take extra meds for anxiety. Complaining aren't I .

However, let it be in known it all things, at all times our God reigns supreme. He alone is almighty. He is in control from the smallest to the greatest detail of every second of my life. Despite all the craziness, my joy has been made full. I was able with help of a few close friends pull of the baby shower of the century. I was given the physical strength and the financial ability to spend much good time with dear friends during the time immediately following the loss of their father. I did get my horse bred, though the insemination did not "take" we are trying again this week. More to come later.

OK
What can anyone say? Many folks are saying many many words. Words, way too many; too many empty words; words spoken simply to fill space and time before real information is available. Real information about a horrendous tragedy that has gripped a nation and terrorized young people in Virginia and college campuses all over the US. The term "talking heads" had always seemed a silly label given to media members by peers whose heads happened not be talking at the time. My definition of the word has not changed, but the talking heads seem more aggravating than usual during this current national crisis. The aroma of my baking dinner rolls is reaching the family room, means I better check them...more later.

The Days of Slaughter Rock

Back when the older boys were younger they used to fish in the creeks by our home. The surrounding woods and fields were their hunting grounds. Rabbits, squirrels, and other woodland mamals were all subject to their Mark Twain-like childhood. Most furry critters were able to scamper or dart away out of reach of pellet guns, snares, and later small shotguns. The fish were not usually so fortunate. In our front yard thirty yards or so from the house, there was and still is a large flat rock. It covers a pipe Drew had run from his garage floor drain. Countless fish and more than a few forest creatures met their fate on that flat stone. I suppose most were dead before they reached the rock. But it was here they were prepared for the fire or the frying pan. I am sure my young Tom and Huck killed more than a few defenseless varmints for no good reason, but many were grilled, broiled, fried up, or otherwise prepared for eating. Ben and Allen roamed the woods and fields in search of conquests and adventures, finding a wide variety of both. Yes, they shot stuff they shouldn't have, trespassed on the neighbors property I am sure. Much of went on out there will probably stay out there hidden in the secrets young brothers share.

Today my young men have grown up problems, and bigger worries plague this mamma's heart. Skinned knees, concussions, stitches, even broken curfews seem like a lifetime ago. Little troubles for little boys. Simpler times, easier nights. I know God's grace will abound in the lives of my sons. He holds their futures and loves their souls more than I ever could. Deep in my spirit I trust their tomorrows to my loving God. Today though, I cry out for the faith to trust their days to His plan and care. Grown up problems and mess-ups can result in serious consequences. Draw them to you Lord Jesus and have mercy on their messy lives. Redeem their foolish choices and bring glory to your Kingdom by the great works You will do.
Bring your peace to this mother's soul. In Jesus Name.

I miss the days of Slaughter Rock.

Welcome Grand baby (son)
My oldest son (step) has a girlfriend who is pregnant with his first baby. Sonogram on Tuesday identifies it as a boy. Boy oh boy! I am so excited. It is kind of a bittersweet excitement as both son and his girl have had and I believe still could have addiction issues. I am trusting God to protect this little guy. Caleb Daniel, Daniel after one of Allen's best friends who died, of an overdose. Caleb was Joshua's partner in the days after the Exodus. Years ago when Allen was a pre-teen maybe, we were at a Celebration Conference and Allen had a prophetic word where he was referred to as a Joshua. I reminded him of that today and suggested that God was sending him his partner. We have to keep planting seeds. I have known for some time that the baby was coming but hearing about the sonogram makes it real. Knowing that so far he is doing OK. Stacy said the doc said the baby weighs four pounds already. I don't know if that is enough for seven and a half months, but he has about eight or nine weeks to grow.
I am having a baby shower for them at the end of the month. I still have much planning to do; not one off my strong points these days. Anything that requires prethought can be challenging. I have been wanting to catch up on my blogging, but I have just been distracted and kind of brain numb. Nothing like new life to spur my on. Pray for this wee one, that his parents will desire real change in their lives and ask God to lead them to new life in Him.
Time for me to get to bed. Grandma tires easily.

Friday Night
Well, well, well. Where on earth have I been? Seems like forever since I have written anything. I am missing my own words... Heh, heh! I have been very busy. I had a dr.s appointment this morning, just in Elderton, a chiropractor's appointment this afternoon, also in Elderton. I babysat baby Isabella yesterday while Alison went for my groceries. We played and told stories for a bit and than took a nap on the couch together. She slept in her little seat beside my feet and I curled up above her. We were sleeping when Ali came back. It was kind of cute. Sounds a little bit presumptions, but the baby was cute I just happened to be in the picture.

My horses have been having a blast playing outside. They think there is grass in the pasture; there isn't. They sure spend a lot of time chewing dirt I guess. Horses won't eat dirt really; they are able to sift apart even the smallest of particles in their feed. I have a mare, Zulu, who would eat everything except a soft powdery additive, Rice Bran. It has the consistency of powdered sugar. I am amazed at the dexterity of her lips. My new filly, oops forgot to say about that.

Wednesday afternoon I brought home a yearling filly, kind of a light red roan. It's hard to say what color she will shed out too be. But she is a real sweetheart, a Paso Fino with a black and white pinto paso for a sire. She could throw (give birth too) pinto marked colored babies. She was left to stand in the field for most of her first 12 months so she does not act her age. Though she seems very eager to learn and very, very anxious to be loved on. I had her out in the round pen today most of the day. I had some hay, a water bucket, and a feed pan with her own special sweet feed all outside in the sunshine. We walked around practicing walking with a lead rope. Some of the time I just sat in a lawn chair enjoying the fine weather. Mia, short for a much longer official Spanish name. My camera is broken so I will have to get Ned to take few photos so I can post them up like a proud mama.

OK, I must get some sleep. No funny stories or lessons to be learned, my mind and body are weary.